


My Feelings and Desires

by RollZero



Series: Yona/Jae-ha Alternate Chapters [16]
Category: Akatsuki no Yona | Yona of the Dawn
Genre: Declarations Of Love, Drama, Drama & Romance, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Falling In Love, Feelings, First Time, Flirting, Fluff and Smut, Friends to Lovers, Friendship/Love, Loss of Virginity, Love Confessions, Oral Sex, POV First Person, Porn with Feelings, Romance, Secret Crush, Self-Indulgent, Smut, Warm and Fuzzy Feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-03
Updated: 2018-05-03
Packaged: 2019-05-01 12:53:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 15,287
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14521023
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RollZero/pseuds/RollZero
Summary: AU of Chapter 85 written in Yona's POV, alternate take on my one shot 'What Do You Think of Me?' that includes some bits from Crimson Emerald Rays and shows an AU of more of the chapter this time around. One shot, lemon warnings. Part of my Yona/Jae-ha Alternate Chapters Series.





	My Feelings and Desires

**Author's Note:**

> This was something I wanted to give a try and was something on my mind, writing Chapter 85’s AU from Yona’s POV, as the one shot ‘What Do You Think of Me’ is heavily from Jae-ha’s point of view, even only really showing his thoughts and not Yona’s. This might differ a bit from the original one shot as I might change a few things as it’s like an AU of an AU, but also it reflects on the Crimson Emerald Rays Chapters I’ve written since then with Yona’s feelings on her mind, also this shows the beginning of Chapter 85 this time. Also this time I wanted to try something different, so I decided to write Yona in first person for a change, not a style I use often but I like to experiment here and there. Hope you all enjoy!

I let out a sigh as we were walking towards Sensui… My body felt so heavy at the moment but I knew I could push through this, no need to worry everyone. I didn’t want them to have those sad worried faces again as they see me in pain. But that’s when I noticed Shin-ah saying something to Yoon, who turned towards me.  
   
“Yona, does your back hurt?” he asked.  
   
I smiled and shook my head. “I’m fine.”  
   
“Yona, you look pale…” Shin-ah spoke up.  
   
That’s when I felt a hand suddenly over my face, looking up I saw Hak had walked right in front of me and decided to check my temperature. “You have a little fever.” He said.  
   
I pursed my lips at his immediate butting into my personal space, like he usually liked to do. _“… I’m fine.”_  
   
“Your face is turning red, so your fever must be going up.” Hak said, pulling his hand away.  
   
“It’s not red!” I protested, tugging on my hood. Ao just purred on my shoulder.  
   
Yoon though looked deep in thought. “What should we do? Sensui is still a little ways away… And there are no inns in this area…”  
   
I really wish they wouldn’t make such a fuss over me like this, how many times have we traveled while the others were injured? Especially Hak and the dragons… I’m no different and I don’t need special treatment just because I’m a girl! “I told you guys I’ll be fine!” I insisted, walking a bit ahead.  
   
“Princess please, you shouldn’t press yourself.” Kija pleaded with me.  
   
But that’s when Jae-ha spoke up. “Then shall I go on ahead and carry her to an inn in Sensui?”  
   
… My heart just stopped I think, thank the gods for that fever or else they’d all see how red my face was right now. The _LAST_ thing I need is to be alone with Jae-ha right now, the very guy I’m in love with and it’s one-sided! “N-no really Jae-ha I wouldn’t want to bother you!” I quickly waved my hands in front of me while shaking my head. “Seriously I can make it just fine!”  
   
“That’d be great!” Yoon cried.  
   
Hak looked like he wanted to protest, but didn’t because he knew it was for my safety and wellbeing. Still this is the one time I wished he _WOULD_ protest! Not that I worry Jae-ha would do anything, I mean seriously those guys overreact all the time… Honestly Jae-ha’s too much of a gentleman to do anything to me, besides things have been a bit rocky between us since the whole Nadai incident. Granted we broke the awkward silence a few days ago when I was worried I destroyed our friendship after the way he blew up at me… But he assured me that wasn’t the case, though my heart now wouldn’t stop hammering around him! As long as I could remember all those years with Soo-won dealing with a one-sided love, it never felt like this… It gets so difficult around him at times and I feel like I can’t think straight, not to mention the fact I have to hide it from him or else he’ll either tease me about it or possibly get offended… After all I’m obviously too young for him… I’m just a kid compared to him not to mention the fact with how he is about freedom he’d never tie himself down to one girl… Ugh heart, why do you always have to reach for the moon and the stars?  
   
I barely noticed Jae-ha had handed off his pack to Kija, making sure that he’ll track us using the dragon’s connection. Jae-ha was already in front of me, his arms spread and inviting to carry me just like he did back in Awa. “You can sleep in my arms the whole way there, Yona dear, no need to worry.”  
   
_… In his arms?_ Oh god I want to be in your arms so much right now but… I felt my cheeks heat up and my heart quicken again. If my face is near his the whole way there I’ll be sure to implode! _No, no, no,_ not a good idea! “Errr I think it would be better if I rest on your back Jae-ha!” I quickly suggested.  
   
He blinked at that, seeming surprised but shrugged his shoulders, bending down for me. “Alright then, climb on.” He smiled warmly at me that made my heart skip a beat.  
   
“Yona… Your face is getting redder.” Shin-ah spoke up again.  
   
“I-I’m fine!” I said as I quickly climbed onto Jae-ha’s back, wrapping my arms around his shoulders. “Sorry to bother you like this Jae-ha…”  
   
My Green Dragon just chuckled and shook his head. “No bother at all Yona dear, just hold on.” And then we were suddenly in the sky. “Tell me if it hurts, ok?”  
   
I nodded in response, and he kept his jumps relatively low, probably to keep the stress off my back. There was a stinging sensation there, probably from it slowly healing. I couldn’t help but smile as I felt the cool breeze hit my warm cheeks. “I can see the ocean.” I sighed as I watched the scenery around us. “ _How nostalgic._ Jumping with you like this… Reminds me of Awa.” I started to miss the time I had there, and everyone I had met.  
   
I saw him smile at that, maybe he misses Captain Gigan and the former pirates? _“… Right.”_ He replied. “You were a weak girl back then.”  
   
_Thanks… Shove it into my face how you saw me._ I couldn’t help but sigh, all he was doing was confirming what I knew was impossible. But for some reason my mouth started voicing my thoughts. “So what do you think of me now?” I then realized what I just said and blushed terribly. **_Stupid, stupid, stupid!_** You _REALLY_ want to get your hopes crushed, don’t you? You know that he only looks at you as a little girl! He likes watching you grow sure, but…  
   
_“… What do I…?”_ Jae-ha seemed taken aback by my question, our eyes met for just a moment and I swear I saw a bit of red on his cheeks. His eyes immediately darted away from mine, looking ahead. _“….. I… I don’t want to say._ ” He answered in a strangled voice, like he was holding something back.  
   
_…. That was weird_. Why did he react that way? “Huh?! What do you mean by that?” I pressed, my heartbeats picking up with a glimmer of hope. _No, come on…_ He’s probably just worried about hurting my feelings or something. Ao poked at my cheek from under my hood, maybe she was getting a bit restless sitting in one place.  
   
“Don’t worry about it.” He replied, shaking his head.  
   
_“But-“_ I wanted to press further, but an arrow suddenly shot out of nowhere at us! “ **Jae-ha, look out!!** ”  
   
He quickly turned just in time to dodge it, landing on a nearby roof. “Yona, we’re being targeted. Keep your head down.”  
   
“Who is it?” I asked, trying to see for myself. Ao ducked into my cloak to hide.  
   
“I don’t know.” Jae-ha answered, reaching for his knives as he tossed them at our attacker. “Shooting at us while hiding… That’s not very beautiful, is it?!”  
   
I saw those knives hit the man that was attacking us, but it didn’t stop him, the man held up his bow even with his bleeding hands, aiming to shoot us down. “ ** _Jae-ha…!_** ” I gasped.  
   
Jae-ha narrowed his eyes. “How troublesome… He’s a Nadai addict. Unless I fatally wound him, he’ll keep coming for us again and again…”  
   
_“N-Nadai…”_ I shivered at that. Just how terrifying was this drug to do such things to people? I also noticed Jae-ha’s hesitation in killing this man just to ensure our escape.  
   
He must have figured I noticed that as he landed on the ground from a quick jump to avoid another arrow. “ _Seriously_ … Captain Gigan’s instructions run deep… And I don’t want to needlessly take a life, but…”  
   
I couldn’t help but smile at that. Hak, Kija and even Shin-ah wouldn’t ever hesitate if someone attacked me or even threatened to attack me, their lives would be forfeit as far as my other protectors were concerned. But Jae-ha learned from Captain Gigan that all life is precious and what taking a life does to you, so he always prefers to wound an attacker to the point they at least stop. Out of all the dragons it was my former pirate that valued life as much as father, maybe that’s one of the many reasons I fell in love with him…  
   
But then I felt Jae-ha move us quickly, avoiding another man that came up behind us with a sword. That was close! I didn’t even sense someone behind me… Well Jae-ha was sharp that way, and he kicked the man away with his dragon leg… I saw crimson flying in the air as Jae-ha was throwing his knives at these two men to keep them down, and there was a hardened expression on his face as he had obviously just killed one of the men trying to attack me. _Oh Jae-ha…_ I’m so sorry that because of me you had to do this… My heart gave a thud in my chest as I’d never really given too much thought how my protectors felt about taking lives in exchange for preserving mine. I mean Hak was so focused on asking me if I could take a life, and the way he never seems bothered by it I never questioned…  
   
My train of thought was cut off as I saw the man with the bow coming towards us. “Jae-ha! He’s coming again!”  
   
My Green Dragon tightened his grip on me. “I’m jumping higher! Hang on just a bit.”  
   
I wrapped my arms as strong as I could around him. _“Right…”_ I felt that strange sting on my back again, probably aching as with a whoosh we were high in the air. I shut my eyes and tried to endure the pain as it got worse with that large jump, but Jae-ha couldn’t afford to be careful now with people chasing us. A few higher jumps later we arrived in Sensui, for now it seemed we had lost our pursuers but rain was falling from the sky. It sure did rain a lot in the Water Tribe, didn’t it?  
   
My back was still stinging as I felt my clothes getting soaked from the rain. I closed my eyes and rested on Jae-ha’s shoulder as he carried me into town and found a storage shed to let us hide from the downpour. He set me down against some bags of flour I could use as a cushion. I tried to calm my breathing and heart from before, my head started to throb a bit, soon joined by my back injury, my body feeling even heavier than before, that last landing felt like it was tearing my back apart…  
   
“ _Crap, it’s raining in Sensui…”_ Jae-ha grumbled, bending down next to me and brushing his hand over my forehead. “Yona dear, you still have a fever. Are you ok?”  
   
If I was, my cheeks just got worse by you touching me…. His hand was so warm against my skin, and I just know I had to be blushing from having him so close. I didn’t dare open my eyes right now, my heart was going too fast just hearing and feeling him so close, I nearly lost it back when he was helping me fix my dress for that dance that I wanted to kiss him then… **_Knock it off Yona!_** Get that out of your head already! “I’m fine…” I managed to say.  
   
“I wonder why those guys were attacking us…” Jae-ha replied, removing his hand from my forehead. Part of me wanted his touch still there and the other was relieved he pulled away, after all this so wasn’t good for my heart.  
   
I sighed though and answered his question. “They might have… Been shooting at me. If they’re assassins poisoned by Nadai, it’s possible that Hiyou is looking for me…” I shivered at the thought of when I got that wound on my back from protecting Lily, and the look on that terrible man’s face. “He has a horrible grudge against me. It’s no wonder he’s in a frenzy to try and kill me.”  
   
Jae-ha was silent for a few moments, but then I felt his hand return to my face to brush a bit at my hair. “If that’s so, it might be dangerous to move ineptly in Sensui right now… I’m sorry Yona dear, but looking for an inn will have to wait a bit longer until the others get here, so that we can hide you better.”  
   
I slowly opened my eyes and smiled at my protector. “It’s ok, we’ll be fine if we stay here. After all Kija will lead Hak and the others right to us…” and opening my eyes was a bad idea.  
   
Jae-ha’s face was so close to mine, I’m sure my cheeks were as red as my hair right now. Luckily I could pass it off as just from the rain and I already had a fever, but my heart wouldn’t stop from how close he was… My mind was wandering all over, to that dream I had to the night we found him drugged by that Nadai, to the beginning of our friendship we formed in Awa… _Oh why, oh why,_ did I have to fall so hard for him?  
   
“You should probably get that wet cloak off.” Jae-ha suggested, and held his hands up defensively as he was worried I’d react poorly. “Purely for your wellbeing Yona dear, I wouldn’t dare ask you to strip so boldly otherwise.” He tried to joke, standing up and opening his robe, pulling it off to wring out the excess water.  
   
“You’re right.” I smiled and slowly stood up, pulling off my cloak and wringing it in my hands as I sneezed. Ao was shaking off the water on her fur as she nuzzled my cheek, as if trying to warm me up.  
   
“Yona, are you cold?” Jae-ha looked up from trying to dry off his cloak as he heard me sneeze, he took a step over to me and brushed his fingers on my cheek that burned from his touch. “… Your fever seems to be getting worse. Does your back hurt?”  
   
I quickly flapped the cloak in the air to try and shake off some more of the water, trying my best to ignore his hand on my cheek as I shook my head. “I’m alright, and my back is fine…” I placed my cloak over a few barrels, then pulled off my vest that was just as dripping wet, adding it on top. “I know you’re worried because that last jump you went really high but we had to get away fast.” I shivered a bit at the image of those men that attacked us… I lowered my head as I just had to bring that up. “… I’m sorry that because of me you had to go against Captain Gigan’s wishes to not kill.”  
   
Jae-ha smiled at that, his fingers caressing my cheek still which just made my heart flutter even more. “I knew what I signed onto when deciding to come with you, Yona dear. It was clear to me that Hak, Kija and Shin-ah have never had to hold back from fatally wounding anyone while protecting you. I just don’t like to needlessly take a life, it’s not a very beautiful thing to do.”  
   
Gods he’s just too much for me sometimes… But I couldn’t help but giggle a bit, of course he would find killing unbeautiful. “… My father would have liked you.” Kind of ironic that of all my dragons it would be the pirate that my father would really like…  
   
But Jae-ha seemed surprised at that as he pulled his hand back. _“Huh...?”_  
   
“My father hated weapons and violence, it’s why he forbade it and never wanted me to touch a weapon.” I explained as I smiled at him. “Your resolve to not want to take a life he would have respected greatly, and also how you like to focus on the beautiful things in this world. All my father ever wanted was true peace in his kingdom.”  
   
He smirked and patted my shoulder. “I wish I could have met the king then, it sounds like we could have had a chat about appreciating beautiful things in this world…” he then winked at me, again making my heart skip a beat. “Though I bet he would have said that you were the most beautiful thing there ever was and he could never resist your charm when you wanted something.”  
   
I felt the heat rising in my cheeks again, dear gods just why is it that everything he says makes me blush? “Oh come on Jae-ha, I was his only daughter so of course he doted on me all the time.”  
   
“Of course, after all he made sure you had a bodyguard that will do anything to keep you safe.” Jae-ha chuckled. “Because he knew what kind of dangerous men could try and whisk you away or harm you. It’s why Hak always has that look on his face when you’re away or throwing yourself into danger.”  
   
Hak just worries too much, that’s what his problem is… “Hak does that because it’s his job and his promise to my father.” I shrugged my shoulders. “Also because we grew up together, I’m like his little sister that way.” After all we grew up together, and since I didn’t have any siblings I could always come to him like a big brother.  
   
Jae-ha seemed to make a strange face at my response as he was placing his robe down next to my cloak, but I sneezed again and felt a terrible chill as I wrapped my arms around myself, shivering from the cold. Ao was still nuzzling against my cheek but she seemed a little cold as well. “… Ok maybe I’m a little cold.” I finally admitted.  
   
I saw Jae-ha working his black undershirt off as a few knives made a clinking sound from hitting the ground… Geez just how many hidden weapons did he have? He chuckled when he heard me after putting that garment down, spreading his arms invitingly. “Want me to warm you up? I can do it even faster if we strip-“  
   
My eyes widened and I know I was blushing as deep red as I possibly could, especially seeing his chest exposed to me right now, not that he was ever shy about stripping, he was always eager to jump out of his clothes and I had to look away so that I didn’t linger staring too long. Gee, what happened to not asking me that so boldly? I mean he has to be joking but still… I knew I had to cut him off right away before my heart betrays me and I give in to the fantasy. “ ** _No._** ” I said as firmly as possible, still shaking though and part of me was screaming to take his offer, even if he was teasing which I was pretty sure he was.  
   
That’s when something weird happened. Jae-ha’s smile dropped immediately and he wrapped one strong arm around me, pulling my head against his chest before I could protest. “It seems now isn’t the time for teasing, is it?” he said rather seriously. **_Too close! Too close!_** My heart is going to explode! I barely could comprehend was he was saying next. “Yona I don’t have a blanket or dry clothes here for you to change into, and with that back injury you could easily get sick being this soaking wet and cold.” He smiled as his eyes met mine, brushing a gentle hand on my cheek again. “I might be a pervert as they all warn you, but I’m a gentleman first. And a gentleman can’t stand by while a lady is freezing and in need, not to mention I’m your Green Dragon that has to protect you.”  
   
_…. Oh my god,_ I can’t remember how to breathe. My heart stopped I think. I was just completely lost in his gorgeous eyes looking at me as he held me close _. “J-Jae-ha…”_ I stammered, my legs getting weak as my heart thudded away in my chest once it restarted. I barely registered that he sat down and pulled me into his lap, allowing my head to rest against his chest like a pillow. I felt like time stopped right then and there, this is a dream right? There’s no way the stars would align to allow me this close with the man I’m in love with… I’m not sure if this is torture because it’s teasing me what I can never have or if it’s heaven because I’m here in his arms all to ourselves… And my mind was just going wild along with my crazy heartbeat.  
   
His voice was the only thing that snapped me back to reality as he explained his actions. “Two bodies together radiate more heat and this should help you warm up, don’t worry Yona dear I won’t do anything more you’re uncomfortable with. But this is no different than me jumping with you in my arms, right?”  
   
I nodded once. “W-well that’s true…” I felt another shiver as I gave in and snuggled closer to him. Fine if it’s a dream I might as well go all the way, and if it isn’t I should just enjoy this once in a lifetime chance. “You are warm Jae-ha…” I noted, closing my eyes and trying to get my heart under control…  
   
“ _Pukkkyyuu!_ ” Ao purred, leaving my shoulder to climb onto Jae-ha’s it seemed.  
   
We stayed like this a little while as I felt Jae-ha petting my hair softly as I cuddled against him. He really was so nice and warm… I felt my shivering calm down slightly though my heart was still going insane in my chest. I was almost drifting off to sleep when I felt his hand on my back and then his whole body stiffened. “Oh no, Yona I think your wound reopened.” He took in a sharp gasp. “It was probably the stress on your back from that last jump…”  
   
_Oh no…_ I didn’t want to worry him before but that must have been that pain I felt… “Oh… I guess that was that sharp pain then when we landed…” I shivered a bit as I opened my eyes, seeing the crimson on his hand that had been on my back. “Sorry Jae-ha, I just thought it was bugging me again. But we don’t have any bandages here to change it and Yoon might still be a while with the others…”  
   
“Let me see if I can find something.” Jae-ha said, moving me slowly off his lap and getting up to check some of the containers in the storage. Ao was jumping around the boxes too, seeming to try and help which I couldn’t help but think was adorable. “There’s got to be something here we can use… Even though it’s mostly barrels and liquor storage… Granted the sake we could use to clean your wound…” He then found one container and his expression brightened a bit, I guess he found something as he pulled out a silk sash and a bottle of sake it looked like, along with a cup. “Here this will do. Just to get a clean, dry cloth on it to help stop the bleeding.” He came over behind me as he sat back down. “Now I know this is embarrassing and I just told you I wouldn’t do anything else to embarrass you further, but I am afraid I’m going to have to ask you to strip after all Yona dear, but purely for reasons of your wellbeing.” Of course he was trying to make a joke out of the situation.  
   
I looked over my shoulder and gave him a smile. “It’s alright Jae-ha, I understand.” I started pulling my wet dress over my head, holding the clothing balled up a bit over my front which was only covered by my bandages. I heard him hiss a bit under his breath when he saw my back, I guess the blood on the bandages must have been pretty bad. He had placed the sash to the side by Ao, who was holding onto it like she wanted to assist.  
   
“As long as you know my intentions are strictly pure, Yona dear. I’d hate to ruin your impression of me after I just made myself clear…” Jae-ha chuckled at my response, opening the bottle of sake and pouring it into a cup. “I’m going to put some of this on your back to clean your wound ok? It might sting a little. Now I just need something to apply it to and clean the blood up…” he muttered, his eyes scanning around again.  
   
“That’s the only cloth you found though and we need to use it as the bandage…” I said, pointing to Ao who was still holding the sash.  
   
“Yes, so I’d rather keep that dry. Don’t worry Yona-chan, I have something that will work.” Jae-ha nodded, but then I saw him reaching for his right boot and pulling it off, something I never see him do. His right leg had white wrapping around it just like Kija’s arm, but it also had green scales from the knee down to his toes that had long nails like claws. This was my very first time seeing his dragon leg and I was taking in the sight with awe.  
   
“… So that’s what your dragon leg looks like.” I said, marveling at finally being able to see it for myself. “I thought it might look a bit like Kija’s arm.”  
   
Jae-ha smiled at that as he unwrapped his leg, which allowed me to see it fully now. “Yes, it’s not very beautiful, so that’s why I never show it. But this is an emergency and we need something to help clean your wound, it’s the only thing I could think of without ruining our already wet clothes.” He chuckled, the white wrapping was slightly damp but not too much, so he could use it like a rag.  
   
“I think it’s beautiful.” I said with a smile, my eyes looking over the green scaled leg and fighting my urge to want to touch it for myself. No, bad idea. He’s extremely self-conscious about that leg and you know it, you’ve heard Hak make remarks how Jae-ha is always quick to throw his boots back on whenever they would bathe. But I can’t resist the fact that I want to… **NO!** This is not the time to be selfish! …. But I could at least try to let him know how I see it. “It’s part of you, so how couldn’t it be?”  
   
If I didn’t know better, I swore I saw _HIM_ blush as he quickly turned his head away from me. “... You’re too kind, Yona dear. Perhaps it doesn’t bother you since you already were graced with Kija’s arm and Shin-ah’s beautiful eyes after all.” Funny how he mentioned Shin-ah who’s always hiding his eyes…  
   
I shook my head at that. “I never found Kija’s arm ugly and Shin-ah’s eyes I always liked of course, I like your leg just the same as their dragon gifts. You shouldn’t be so self-conscious of it, or else you’ll be just as bad as Shin-ah.” I teased.  
   
Jae-ha chuckled at that. “Well perhaps if one day he’s willing to let me see those pretty eyes I’ll let him marvel at my leg.” He then touched my shoulder and stopped right there. “Yona dear, would you prefer to remove your bandages yourself?”  
   
I felt my heart hammer again as I twisted my gown in my hands while debating. So Yona, do you want the guy you’re in love with to undress you or do you want to strip for him after all? … I felt I would freeze too much overthinking the situation, so it would be best if I just close my eyes and let him handle it, it’s not like he’ll really try anything with me, remember he teased you before that you need to fill out a little more right? “… I trust you, Jae-ha.” I answered, closing my eyes and trying my best to steady my heart once more. And that was true, I do trust him… _Because I’m in love with you, Jae-ha…_  
   
I heard him chuckle as I felt my bandages coming undone. I didn’t dare look as I felt his warm hands around me, and they did bump against my breasts a few times but he never lingered… He wasn’t joking when he said he was a gentleman first, he really was trying to avoid touching me more than necessary. I just wish I could get my emotions under control and shut up my brain that’s begging for him to touch me more… If only I could hush the part of me that just wants to turn around, throw my arms around him and kiss him, spilling all my feelings for him at once. I’ll get rejected, I know I will and he’ll be sweet about it, just like that dream I had…  
   
“How bad is it…?” I asked as I felt the wrappings were gone, I held my gown over my chest to hide my breasts.  
   
“Not as bad as before… But it did reopen a bit.” Jae-ha answered, pressing the cloth against my back as I felt a stinging sensation when he did. I bit my lip to try and hold back my hiss from the pain but I know he heard me as I heard him whimper. _“Yona…”_ there was clear pain in his voice from seeing me tense up from the feeling. I know what he was doing, he must have poured some of the sake on the cloth to clean my wound but it hurt so much! Ugh, why do cures always have to hurt just as much as when I got this cut?  
   
Crap, I have to do better than that. “I’m fine.” I quickly lied.  
   
He didn’t answer me, obviously seeing through my lie but I felt him press the cloth against my back again. Just as a spike of pain hit me I felt warm lips on my shoulder… And my heart stopped as my eyes flew open.  
   
I turned my head to a sight that made me swear I was dreaming again, Jae-ha was kissing at my shoulder while cleaning my back, and my blush exploded all over my face. “ ** _J-Jae-ha?_** ” I gasped, several questions on my mind. What in the world are you doing? Are you reading my mind or something?! Am I dreaming? Are you just teasing me? **Can you do more?!?** My lips are up here after all…. …. _Brain, get under control already!_  
   
“I thought I’d try to get your mind off the pain with a distraction, sorry for the tease Yona-chan.” Jae-ha chuckled as he pulled his head back, smiling at me. “I’ll stop if it bothers you that badly, just I’d much rather bring you pleasure than pain. And with you tensing your back like that, you’re just going to make it worse. You really need to calm down and loosen up.”  
   
My eyes got lost looking into his again. “A-alright…” I stammered, my heart slowly getting back under control as I turned my head away. “I am still cold after all and if it helps… W-well do what you can to make it easier…” … Did I just give him permission to do more? As if he’ll act on it…  
   
Luck must have been on my side as I felt his lips at my ear. “Yona dear, that’s very dangerous to just give me permission to do whatever I want.” Oh gods his voice is so close! It sent shivers down my spine. “I might take advantage of it.” He purred. _Please_. **_PLEASE DO._** Wait what am I thinking?!?  
   
I shook my head to clear those strange thoughts, turning to smile at him. “You won’t hurt me.” And I knew this was true too, he wouldn’t hurt me… Just maybe make my heart explode that’s all…  
   
I saw him shake his head at that. “You’re really testing my resolve to stay a gentleman, Yona dear…” Jae-ha replied as he finished up, discarding the wrappings as he grabbed the sash from Ao. Seeing as he was going to wrap there now, I placed my wet gown down on my lap, raising my arms to allow him to wrap the cloth around my chest. I suddenly heard his voice at my ear again though. “And while I won’t hurt you, I might do something like this….” His hand reached forward and took my right breast into his hand and gave it a slight squeeze just before he covered it with the sash.  
   
“ _Ahhhh….”_ I felt a noise escape my lips as my body shivered, and not from the cold this time. Is he trying to scare me off now? “Jae-ha, you’re not going to scare me with teasing like that.” I turned my head towards him again. “… Or are you still just trying to warm me up?” He sure loves to tease me in strange ways I guess… I just wish my heart would stop taking it the wrong way, because I want him to do that again…  
   
He smirked at me while finishing up tying the sash. “Perhaps a little of both? Or I could offer you a drink with what’s left in that sake bottle.”  
   
Seeing as he was done, I turned fully towards him and crawled back into his lap, snuggling up against him. “It does feel warmer this way, so it’s ok.” I closed my eyes and let the fantasy in my head run wild again, after all now I had a taste of what his touch felt like so of course my mind was going places with it. Ao jumped into my lap and rested on my gown as I felt Jae-ha’s hand on my hair again.

After a few moments of silence, I just had to say something. “I’m sorry I had to burden you with this.”  
   
I heard him chuckle as he continued to stroke my hair. “Treating girls with delicate care is my specialty, remember? And you’re a special case at that.”  
   
“Oh? Is that something to do with what you think of me now?” I chuckled, pulling my head back a bit and opening my eyes to meet his. “If you don’t think of me as a weak girl anymore, what do you see me as?” _Really_ … I just want to know please… I know you won’t see me as a woman but at least…  
   
I saw something strange in Jae-ha’s eyes as if something clicked inside of him as his expression softened, his hand moving to caress my cheek. “I see you as one of the strongest women I’ve ever met, and one that’s earned my respect and admiration.” He answered. “At first glance you seem like this frail, weak little girl and then you surprise everyone with the power you hold inside of you, how strong you are in such dangerous and delicate situations, and not giving in no matter what anyone tells you. Your determination is such a turn on.”  
   
_Oh by the gods I love you…._ My heart stopped again, I felt tears creeping up in my eyes that I forced back and I fought the urge to just kiss him right then and there, combusting with telling him how much I love him. _“… Jae-ha… Thank you.”_ I choked out, and part of my control snapped as I leaned in and kissed his cheek, my blush covering my whole face. T-that should be ok right? I-I mean any girl that was just told that could give a simple kiss on the cheek right…? H-he shouldn’t misunderstand that. “That’s the sweetest thing anyone has ever told me.”  
   
Jae-ha seemed to smile at me still as his head leaned in closer, oh his lips were so close… Wait, why was he this close? What is he…? _“But also I…”_ My heart fluttered again, was he going to…? _Oh no…_ I felt a pressure in my nose that I tried so hard to hold back but…  
   
“ ** _ACHOO!_** ” I sneezed, shivering as I did. **OF ALL THE TIMES FOR ME TO SNEEZE!** “Ugh I hope I’m not catching a cold. Sorry Jae-ha what was that you were saying?” I asked, looking at him as he had pulled his head back, his cheeks red.  
   
“ _Errr…_ N-nothing.” He replied, looking away. **CRAP!** Was he just teasing me or what was that?! I want to know so badly!  
   
“ _Puuyykkkuuu…_ ” Ao was purring on my gown, obviously having fallen asleep.  
   
I chuckled as I placed my gown on the ground beside us, allowing her to sleep peacefully. “I guess Ao’s tired.”  
   
“She probably worked herself up worrying over you, like we all do.” Jae-ha chuckled, his hand returning to brush through my hair. “You should try to rest too, once we get you warm enough.”  
   
Well so much for finding out what that was before… Maybe it was just my imagination… It almost looked like he was going to _…. Kiss me._ I just must be wanting it so bad I’m seeing things. “Yeah I guess so, hopefully Hak and the others get here soon.” I rested my head against his chest again, but blinked when I heard a thumping that wasn’t my heart. “… Jae-ha, your heartbeat seems kind of fast. I hope you’re not getting sick from getting this soaked too.” _Wait…_ Why is his heart going fast like mine…?  
   
Jae-ha cleared his throat, looking away as I swore I saw him blushing again. “Well obviously I always get excited when I’m half naked and holding a beautiful girl that’s also barely dressed in my arms.”  
   
Wait so being like this is making him…? “O-oh…” I gulped, looking up at him. “… Does that mean I’m making you uncomfortable?”  
   
Jae-ha chuckled at my question. “No of course not, Yona dear. In fact, I might be enjoying myself a bit too much you could say…” I felt him shift a bit, he kept making sure I stayed sitting on his leg for some reason, which I wondered if I was making it fall asleep… “If Hak were to walk in on us right now he’d probably murder me before I could explain.”  
   
I laughed at that, so picturing Hak with his glaive and Kija with his claws ready to kill. “Hak does jump to conclusions a lot. That and he always seems to have a bad impression of you, Jae-ha.”  
   
“Yes I suppose my reputation speaks for itself for him.” Jae-ha shook his head, then smirked at me. “What about you, Yona-chan? Since I answered you, what do you think of me?” he took my hand into his as he looked into my eyes, making my heart skip a beat.  
   
_… I love you, that’s what I think of you._ My brain wanted to answer. I took a moment to try and form my words together without saying too much, I could at least tell him basically how I felt right? “… You’re kind and truthful, I like that about you. Sure I found it a bit confusing at first because I’ve never had someone just tell things like they are, not caring what other people think and you refuse to let others influence your life and decisions because of how much you value your freedom.” _This still works for friendship right?_ “I always feel I can come to you about anything and you won’t judge me for it, and appreciate my efforts to become stronger. You also respect my decisions and I’ve always felt this connection to you since we met, after all you were the only dragon that I got that feeling that you were one, I mean Zeno was right next to me and I didn’t even know it!” I giggled at the memory, it was true I’ve felt such a connection with Jae-ha since we met, and I’m not sure when my feelings for him got so out of control, just that day we found him in the rain from the Nadai I realized I’ve fallen for him so badly… But it’s ok, being this close to him is more than I could have ever asked for. I don’t want to ruin our friendship over my selfish desire to have him for myself.  
   
I opened my eyes after my laugh and was surprised to see a shocked expression on his face, and his cheeks were just as red as I swore mine were! It’s just like how he had that shocked look on his face when I told him I couldn’t forgive Nadai for hurting him, like hearing somebody care so much for him was foreign to him, it made my heart bleed for him each time. But what happened next nearly made my heart explode, as suddenly his head bolted forward and before I knew it… He was kissing me.  
   
_…. Ok I must be dreaming now._ I have to be dreaming! The one I’m in love with, Jae-ha, was kissing me right here and now, and I have no idea what to do! His lips were just as warm and demanding against mine as that dream, and I was frozen. I couldn’t move, I couldn’t think my eyes were just locked with his that were burning as his lips moved against mine. My heart pounded away in my chest as it seemed like time stood still as my Green Dragon slowly pulled his lips away from mine once he realized what he just did it seemed as he moved his hand to cover his face as if in embarrassment. _“…. And I promised to be a gentleman… Dammit.”_ He growled as his blush was even worse now. Wait does he think I’m angry at him for kissing me? **_No!_** I can’t let him think that! “Ahhhh Yona Dear please forgive this pervert but I just couldn’t hold back anymore, you were just too adorable for words and-“ I cut him off as I bolted my head forward to lock my lips with his.  
   
This was just like how when I took that chance to kiss him when he was unconscious, I have no idea how kissing works! I just guessed as I bumped my lips against his, unable to figure out how and what I should do until he seemed to get over the shock of me kissing him back as I felt his lips move against mine. Oh gods if this is a dream don’t wake me up! Jae-ha is actually kissing me, the man I’m head over heels in love with is kissing me! I felt his arms move to wrap around me to pull into a hug, holding me close as our lips slowly parted.  
   
Jae-ha had a sly smile on his face that was taunting as he licked his lips _. “… Now what was that just there?”_ he purred at me.  
   
_He caught me…_ Oh god how do I talk my way out of this one? He’s going to tease me! “… Well I don’t know how to kiss like you do, so I wasn’t sure what I was doing.” I quickly looked away. “Jae-ha, I care about all of you, you know that right? But that time with the Nadai I…. It tore me apart seeing you like that, it’s why I wanted to be with you when you finally woke up. And why I was so…. Angry that it hurt you I…” _And I realized I’d fallen in love with you…_  
   
But he merely smiled and snuggled me closer rather than tease. “Is that why you were pressing me with that question? You wanted to hear what I think of you?” _Well yeah…_ I wanted to know how badly I’m going to get rejected…  
   
I nodded. “Well I didn’t want to seem like a kid to you…” I admitted, my cheeks burning again.  
   
Jae-ha laughed at my reaction. “Oh Yona dear, you are far from a little kid to me. If anything it’s been terrible having to hold back around you.” He purred, kissing my blazing cheek now as he grinned. “But I must warn you that you just might unleash a different kind of beast inside me…”  
   
I wasn’t quite sure what he meant by that. “You won’t hurt me.” I reasoned, smiling at him.  
   
“Your never-ending trust and unshaken fear of this monster never ceases to surprise me, Yona-chan.” Jae-ha chuckled as I felt his lips at my neck now, and it felt sooo good… I know I must have made a few noises as he did this, plus he was moving me a bit so that I finally sat on his lap more directly, my legs wrapped around his waist as I felt something poking my thigh… Wait was that his _…? Oh… THAT’S_ what he meant by beast…  
   
“ ** _O-OH!_** ” I gasped, blushing madly as I felt that bulge rub against my pelvis. “H-how long has that-“ I stammered, unable to spit out the rest of my words… Was that why he was making me sit on his leg before? B-but wait if he’s reacting like that then that means…  
   
“Long enough, let’s leave it at that.” Jae-ha purred into my ear as I felt him take a bit of the lobe between his teeth and nibbled, not breaking any skin though…. This is turning out better than any dream I’ve had that’s for sure. “Just letting you know what you just might be getting yourself into, Yona dear.”  
   
I moaned a bit before pulling back to look at him directly, pouting as he must really think I’m that naïve… “Jae-ha, I might be a princess but I **_DO_** know what the Red Light District is.” I was still blushing though. I mean I know of… _That_ … Just I never…“… I just thought I had no chance in competing with girls like that…”  
   
“Well, well, well… Perhaps our little princess isn’t as innocent as we thought she is.” Jae-ha snickered, reaching his hand up to stroke my cheek once more. “You had me completely fooled with how you ignore Hak’s advances…”  
   
_… Hak?_ What does Hak have to do with all this? “ _Hak…?_ Jae-ha he’s teased me my whole life like that, like I said he’s basically been my big brother just he happens to be my bodyguard.” I pursed my lips just thinking about how Hak reacted while I was getting dressed the other day. “Besides you heard him before… I don’t have any sex appeal as far as he’s concerned.”  
   
Jae-ha looked like he was holding back a laugh as he leaned his head closer to me again. “And what about when I tease you?” _His lips were so close…_ B-but I can’t get greedy and just keep kissing him, can I?  
   
“You tease me differently, it’s not so… _Mean_. I think the meanest thing you really ever said to me was that joke about only wanting to travel if it was just us but telling me to wait until I grow up a bit more.” I chuckled as I recalled that. “And yet you came along anyway.”  
   
“Well a lot has happened since then, and you’ve been growing into quite the woman if I say so myself.” _Woman?_ Not a kid? Is that why he stopped calling me _‘Kiddo’_ these days? Before I could ask his warm lips were against mine again and I was in orbit. My head was buzzing as I felt his tongue brush against my lips until they parted slightly as I moaned, and then I felt his tongue in my mouth. I knew he would be an amazing kisser and he sure didn’t disappoint, after all with his experience with the ladies it’s only natural that he could blow my mind with just kisses. I felt greedy wanting more as I closed my eyes and lost myself in the pleasure of that kiss. He kept this up until he probably heard my struggle with trying to hold my breath as he pulled back, allowing me to gasp for air and open my eyes, I’m sure my cheeks were as red as can be right now.  
   
Jae-ha stroked my cheek again, and it seriously was feeling like he was stroking my heart at this point. “You’re the very incarnation of beauty, Yona dear. The most breathtaking woman I’ve ever met.”  
   
_… I think I just died and went to heaven, father can you hear me?_ I am so sorry but your innocent daughter has fallen in love with a pervert and is about to throw herself completely at him. _“… J-Jae-ha…”_ I stammered, then looked away again. “… And here you didn’t want to say what you think of me earlier…”  
   
“Well it hardly seemed the time or place for such a confession.” Jae-ha shrugged. “Besides I had to do some… Thinking in regards to that question. Also I wasn’t sure if you’d react positively to your Ryokuryuu seeing you as more than just simply his master.”  
   
“You know very well I don’t consider myself your master.” I glared at him for that response, he knows better than that! I tried to adjust myself in his lap but that ended up rubbing against him more… Making this weird pressure grow between my legs… _What’s wrong with me now?_ “I told you that the day we met, you all are my friends.” I tried to focus on Jae-ha to ignore that burning feeling in the pit of my stomach, almost like a knot was forming.  
   
“Just friends eh?” Jae-ha smirked at me again. “The way you’re straddling me sure suggests something else…”  
   
_Crap_ , he just called attention to it and I felt a tugging at my pelvis. _“… Ok maybe you’re special.”_ I looked away as my blush grew.  
   
“Care to elaborate on that Yona dear?” he purred.  
   
_Must he be so smug?_ “Don’t get weird on me, Jae-ha.” I shook my head.  
   
“Things got weird the moment _you_ kissed me back.” He retorted. “I lose control of myself for one minute and assume you’d be angry at me for stealing your precious lips and here you’re seducing me…”  
   
_… What did he just say?!_ “ **I AM NOT SEDUCING YOU!** ” I shouted a bit too loud. He must have thought that was my first kiss he stole… Little did he know that I already _GAVE_ him my first kiss not too long ago when he was unconscious…  
   
“Oh really? Then what exactly are you doing here to my dragon’s tail?” Jae-ha countered, he grabbed at my hips and used the angle to rub that bump in his pants between my legs which just made that pressure even worse now... And did he just call his _… T-thing…_ A dragon’s tail? “Because if I wasn’t so worried about opening that wound of yours again, I’d have you on your back right now screaming in pleasure.” He purred into my ear, making my heart skip a beat again.  
   
My eyes widened as I felt like my face was going to explode from my blush, oh god is he seriously saying he would...? _“… T-that wasn’t intentional…_ ” I replied once I found my voice. “B-besides doing that I seemed to be warming up and…. _Err…”_ I looked away as I couldn’t think of what to say.  
   
“Yes you don’t seem to be shivering from the cold anymore.” Jae-ha couldn’t seem to wipe that grin off his face. _Yep_ , I knew he was going to tease me… “The real question here though is, _how badly do you want it?_ ” he placed another kiss on my neck when I looked away. “It’ll be painful for me to pull away when I have you this close, but I’ve held back this long so allowing a little to break through was more than I bargained for today.”  
   
We both got more than we bargained for I have to admit… At least now I know that he’s attracted to me and maybe… _Likes me?_ “You’re not going to make this easy for me, are you?” I asked as I turned back to look at him pitifully.  
   
“I promised to behave, didn’t I?” he responded.  
   
**_Seriously?_** I narrowed my eyes at that. “You broke that when you kissed me.”  
   
He countered that with a kiss on my cheek. “I sure didn’t hear any complaints.”  
   
_Ooooohhh!_ I smacked him on the chest. “You are so frustrating Jae-ha!”  
   
He was laughing at that now. “I thought you like it when I speak my mind and I’m truthful?”  
   
Truthful is one thing, being _smug_ is what you’re doing right now… “ _Arrrgghhh_ you are enjoying this way too much!” I growled in irritation.  
   
Jae-ha chuckled at that, looking at me with warm eyes. “Can you blame me when I’m holding my all too eager lovely princess in my arms that’s too embarrassed to say the go word so I can make sweet love to her?”  
   
_… Did he just say love…?_ My jaw dropped as my mouth went dry. “ ** _H-HUH?!?_** ” I cried, my eyes wide with disbelief as I must have been hearing things, or he was just joking and didn’t mean it like…. I **HAD** to know! “… S-say that again.”  
   
Jae-ha was laughing once more, shaking his head. “What? You thought I was merely sugar coating my words before? Sorry to disappoint you, Yona darling, but you did ask the question… And it’s why the answer took me a while to reach past my denial.” He smiled, pressing his forehead against mine as my heart was hammering, counting the seconds for his response. “What do I think of you? _I love you, Yona_.”  
   
My heart nearly leapt out of my chest _… He loved me…_ It wasn’t a one-sided love! “ _Jae-ha…._ ” Tears streamed down my cheeks from hearing those words. I threw my arms around him and hugged him tightly, and I blurted out all the things I was holding back. “I… I love you too! I realized it when you were hurt by that drug and I felt so terrible and helpless… Watching you like that… It hurt my heart so badly that all I could think about was how I couldn’t forgive that happening to you...” I sobbed into his shoulder. “But I thought for sure that you would never…”  
   
I felt his fingers on my chin to lift my head and his lips touched mine once more. My heart thumped away in my chest knowing that the one kissing me right now returned my feelings, all my worry over falling in love with him lifted from my heart like a heavy weight. I still had no idea what to do with kissing so I just stayed still, my eyes on his as he gave me a loving look when our lips parted and he gave me his response. “And I held back thinking you were in love with Hak, that just seeing you happy and smiling was enough for me. Yet you are always on my mind, be it dragon blood or my own feelings I don’t care anymore. I want you by my side always. Seeing you when you got this hurt killed me as well, especially since it was because you looked into that incident because of me. I felt responsible.” He brushed my tears away with his hands.  
   
_In love with Hak?_ Wherever did he get that idea? Was this why he was always asking me if I was jealous if Hak got attention of girls? “I told you before, Hak is like my brother, not to mention he only protects me because that’s his job…” I shook my head, focusing on what else he told me… He was still blaming himself for my back injury because I had looked into the Nadai when it hurt him… “It wasn’t your fault… You tried to stop me from looking into it, because you were that concerned for me.” I sniffed, smiling at him. “I should have figured it out then how much you care.” My cheeks flushed as I snuggled against him again. My heart was still skipping with joy but I couldn’t help but have new questions on my mind, now that I knew he loved me too… “… S-so… Where do we go from here?” I asked, looking up into his eyes.  
   
_“Oh Yona…”_ Jae-ha smiled as he kissed me once again, and I felt my body become jelly in his arms. He kept it brief though, pulling back before my brain could catch up from the fog that would fill it each time he kissed me… I swear I kept getting dizzy each time he did that. “… As badly as I want you right now I really have to consider your injury in this situation.” His hands were slowly tracing my spine and caressing my sides as he spoke, sending shivers through my body feeling him touch my skin… I sure wasn’t as cold as before now.... Especially with how bad I was blushing. “But there is something I can do that won’t put any pressure on your back, if you want me to.”  
   
I couldn’t help but feel my heart flutter from him still being a gentleman, worried about my condition… But still… “You’re still trying to get me to ask for it, aren’t you?” I narrowed my eyes at him, it didn’t help he didn’t tell me what exactly he was going to do.  
   
“Just want to make sure you won’t regret your decision. I am after all, a flirty playboy pirate correct?” he chuckled, his hand at my cheek again. “Not exactly someone a princess should associate herself with.”  
   
“I don’t care about that.” I huffed, and that was true. Does it really matter these days anyway? Ever since I left the palace I really haven’t considered myself royalty anymore, it was why I didn’t mind that Yoon and Shin-ah called me by name. I think that also helped draw me to Jae-ha further, when he met me he didn’t find out I was a princess right away, and he didn’t give me special treatment, he just treated me like a normal girl. And when he did find out, it didn’t matter, he still treated me the same. “I love you, and that’s what matters. B-besides you have experience at this while I don’t know that much so it’ll help me learn…” I felt my cheeks burning again as I looked away a bit, but I noticed a glint in his eyes that he was clearly touched by what I said.  
   
“Very well then my love, but we’ll still take it slow for your sake.” Jae-ha said with a smile that made my heart skip another beat, and then his hand was between my legs and loosening the fabric there, pulling it away and placing the cloth next to my gown where Ao was still fast asleep _. “Lovely…”_ he whispered as he was staring at my body that was without any clothing now, except that sash around my breasts to cover my back injury. My eyes quickly closed as I didn’t dare see his expression it was far too embarrassing! Here I was basically naked in front of the man I loved, this is no time to freeze!  
   
I was brought back to reality when I felt his thumb pressing one spot between my legs and I gasped when one finger entered me. It felt strange at first but slowly I felt a tugging sensation and a bit of relief of that knot in the pit of my stomach. _“Oooooohhhh!”_ I clutched my hands on his shoulders to steady myself as his fingers continued to apply pressure in what seemed like just the right places, sending my mind soaring.  
   
Jae-ha’s lips were at my ear and slowly moving down my neck. He was applying light pressure there with kisses and I couldn’t contain the moans that escaped my mouth. I felt strange again as I think he added a finger inside me as the pressure between my legs got stronger, and there was another warm touch that sent shivers down my spine. I squirmed and shifted my body a bit, unable to sit still from the weird sensation I was feeling right now. At the same time, my heart was ready to jump out of my chest I swear… It felt like that knot in my stomach wanted to release something and Jae-ha’s touches were relaxing it, almost like a kinked-up muscle letting go during a massage. I did feel like something weird passed through my body and released onto his fingers inside me, almost like I had to use the bathroom but that wasn’t the case… I realized what it was when I heard Jae-ha’s voice again. “You’re soaking wet Yona dear… Now I’m really convinced I wasn’t the only one holding back.” He purred into my ear, his honey voice causing me to gasp and finally open my eyes… _Big mistake_ because for a brief moment my eyes met his and they struck right into my heart, making it skip another beat. Would my heart hold out at this rate?  
   
“Ahhhhh J-Jae-ha….” I tried to form a few words but that was all that managed to get out as I tilted my head a bit, and he was kissing all over my neck and onto my chest, even right over my heart that was pounding insanely. Then his other hand that didn’t have fingers touching my inner flesh came up and caressed my chest through the cloth.  
   
Jae-ha hummed a bit as he kissed over my cloth covered breasts. “Mmmm it’s too bad I only got to feel one of these from behind, I bet they’re lovely to go with this gorgeous body.”  
   
I blushed terribly as I looked away in embarrassment. “… Maybe next time after I’m healed.” **_WHAT DID I JUST SAY?!_** Oh god my brain is just going to mush at this rate!  
  
He chuckled at that response, giving my breast a soft squeeze. “You know just how to entice me Yona-chan, though we’re hardly ever alone in our little group.” His fingers were still caressing… D-down there and the pressure was getting worse _… Oh when oh when will it release?_  
   
“W-we’ll figure it out.” I answered him when my brain caught up with my body but I was cut off by my own moans when I felt him add another finger to the digits pumping into me at this slow pace… C-can’t he move them a bit faster? I-I mean… It feels so good but I want more… I leaned forward a bit more as I continued to squirm a bit, leaning myself further into his touch when he stopped me, placing a hand on my shoulder.  
  
 “ _Now, now._ Don’t stretch that back out too much or else you’ll start bleeding again.” Jae-ha warned, and I realized he was right with the way I was leaning forward and arching my back, the angle and stress on it could cause it to start bleeding again. “Perhaps we should move you so you can relax against me.”  
   
With that, he removed his fingers from _… That place…_ And pulled them back, licking the moisture on his fingers that must have been from me… I was whimpering though and blushing at the same time. Whimpering with disapproval that he stopped and blushing from the embarrassment of watching him eat that s-stuff like it was a sweet candy… And looking like he was getting drunk off of it.  
   
Jae-ha must have noticed that look on my face, along with my whimpering, because he suddenly kissed my cheek to comfort me. “It’ll only be a moment, then I’ll be sure to bring you pleasure while moving you.” He placed his hands on my hips and helped lift me onto my feet.  
   
“A-alright.” I said as I was standing on slightly shaky legs, due to how nervous and embarrassed I was standing on complete display for him. I took in a deep breath, trying to calm myself. “Do you need me to turn then _Jae-HAAAA!”_ I gasped as I felt a warm breath over the hair between my legs followed by…. Oh my god are those his lips? Is he seriously kissing m-my…?! “ **W-what are you…?!?** ” I cried, looking down at him and my eyes widened at the sight. I saw his green hair that was tickling at my skin and his mouth pressed against _… T-that area…_ I felt a sensation run through me like lightning and it made that pressure inside me get worse.  
   
Jae-ha looked up at me briefly and I saw that hungry look in his eyes that I swear was going to eat me alive, I know I had to be blushing terribly just from seeing it. “I thought I’d show you something even better than my fingers Yona darling, and this way I won’t have to lay you on your sensitive back to do it.” He purred as he kissed at my thigh, his hands parting my legs slightly, his fingers caressing the hair between my legs just like how he pet my hair on my head earlier. “Just hold still my dear and enjoy.” His nose bumped against another part of between my legs and I felt another shiver run through my body as I felt his fingers touching there again, I felt a tugging and pushing as his breath was against there some more as he exposed more of… T-there to him… “ _Beautiful_.” He purred again, as I felt his warm tongue brush against there, as if he was licking a candy pop… Seriously I really think he is going to devour me, isn’t he?  
   
“ **J-Jae-ha!** ” I gasped as I felt that tongue against me, my hands acted on their own as they reached for anything to grasp onto. They ended up settling into his hair as I placed my hands on his head, and I worried that maybe I was digging my nails into his scalp but before I could think to pull back I felt that tongue slip inside me and I lost it. My legs wobbled a bit and swayed on their own as I swear I lost control of my body because my brain was gone as moans escaped my lips. I didn’t dare look down again at what he was doing even though I felt him shift a bit under my hands. I shut my eyes as I couldn’t keep them open as I felt so good as he was licking and kissing at my most private place. “ ** _Jae-ha!_** ” I cried out again and again when one of those feelings of lightning striking me hit, followed by my body tingling and shivering. I felt like my legs were getting weak after a while of this, my knees bending a bit as he touched another area with his fingers and I thought I was going to collapse as I screamed his name once more. As if he knew that was going to happen, I felt a hand on my rear to keep me from falling. But even that wasn’t enough. “J-Jae-ha… I don’t think I can stand much longer…” I whimpered between my moans. “A-and there’s this pressure that’s building up…” I felt like I was going to explode any minute…  
   
I felt Jae-ha’s mouth and t-tongue pull away from me as he responded. “Let’s get you back seated then, shall we?” his hands were on my hips then, guiding me to turn around slowly. I opened my eyes again even though I shuddered once more from his hands caressing my legs as I moved. From there he guided me into his lap, facing away from him now as my back rested against his chest. But then I felt something warm and firm pressing against my thigh. I felt his arms wrap around me as I leaned my head over his shoulder. As I squirmed to adjust myself in his lap, I felt his hand return to between my legs and two fingers…. W-went back inside, causing that burning and tugging sensation to return. But it was also relieving that pressure that was driving me crazy, even though it felt good… I was starting to find it hard to breathe at this rate.  
  
I felt his lips at my ear as he purred, clearly enjoying the look I must have had on my face as I moaned from his caresses. “Care to answer me how badly you want it now, Yona-chan?” he licked my ear then I swear to tease me further as my heart skipped another beat.  
   
I shuddered once more as his voice was driving my nerves insane by this point. I turned my head a bit to give him a slight glare from that tease. “T-that’s not f-fair Jae-ha…” I managed to get out between the sounds of pleasure coming from my mouth. Oh god how is it my whole body is going to jelly just from his fingers?  
    
“Would you prefer I stop?” he teased, slowing down the movement of his finger. I then felt his thumb press against that raised pebble down there that had this horrible itch to it from everything he had been doing. I yelped a moan when he touched it, and darn it I just wanted him to rub it more as it was making my body feel weird again but _… I liked it…_ Wait did he say something about stopping?  
   
“ ** _N-NO! DON’T-_** “ I shouted without thinking, then quickly looked away in embarrassment when I heard him chuckle. Arrrgghh he is just enjoying this far too much! I know he’s obviously experienced at this so dealing with a virgin like me must be amusing to him…  
   
Jae-ha’s hand was suddenly on my chin, turning my head to face him. “Don’t be embarrassed to tell me not to stop or go faster…. Just give into temptation Yona.” He purred, and his lips were suddenly against mine. I felt his tongue push past my lips and enter my mouth where this weird taste invaded my taste buds… Wait what was this sticky stuff on his tongue that tasted a bit weird…? _Was that my…?_ I blushed furiously just thinking about it and before I could give it a deeper thought, his fingers picked up their pace inside me. I started hearing lewd sounds coming from down there that I swear just made my cheeks burn even deeper. My hips instinctively bucked against his hand between my legs as I felt I was close to something, as if my body was going to explode. Jae-ha continued to kiss me as his fingers still worked their magic on me until I felt a release, and something warm spilling out from between my legs and onto his fingers and lap as my body started spasming. My toes curled as I felt my body tense and that knot came undone in my stomach, at long last. I cried out into his mouth as his lips slowly parted from mine, allowing me to gasp for air.  
   
Jae-ha just smiled at me as I caught my breath, I know I had to have kept making noises and squirming as my body slowly calmed down from that experience… W-was that what they call an… _O-orgasm?_ I felt like I was floating, I nuzzled my head against his shoulder as things slowly came back into focus. _Wow…_ So is this how it felt to be with the one you love? This really does make what I ever dreamed of back when I was in love with Soo-won pale in comparison…  
   
Jae-ha’s voice brought me back to reality though. “And here I thought I’d seen some of the most beautiful things in this world already, I must have been blind because they don’t compare to how you look right now.” I blushed terribly as I watched him licking his fingers that were coated in… T-that stuff and giving me a seductive grin. “It makes me want to bring you even more pleasure, Yona dear.”  
   
I felt my cheeks burning again and my heart fluttered. It was then that I had noticed he must have removed his pants before seating me back down as I felt his…. What did he call it again? Dragon tail _? … Yeah I’ll go with that._ I felt it… P-poking me as if… “…. If it’s anything like that, I do want more…” I admitted.  
    
Jae-ha smiled at me, seeming pleased with that response but something seemed to be holding him back. “Oh Yona love…” he kissed my forehead. “It might be a bit tricky with your injury, but I think I can handle it like this if you want to… But you can tell me to stop at any time.”  
   
Why in the world would I tell him to stop? Does he still doubt that I love him? “Why would I want you to..? This feels…”  
   
My Green Dragon chuckled and shook his head. “ _Your back._ ” _Oh. **That’s what’s holding him back**._ He then pressed his forehead against mine again. “I don’t want you holding it in again like before nor do I want to ignore it just to drown in my own pleasure. You have to promise me to tell me the moment you feel any discomfort.” He pulled back a bit with a smile, petting my head. “I’ve waited this long already Yona darling, if I have to wait a few more days for you to recover I’m perfectly fine with this…”  
   
I frowned a bit though, he really was worried about my back and that’s why he was worried about going all the way, since it could cause me pain but… “It’s going to hurt anyway Jae-ha, I know what happens the first time.” I replied, and that’s true I remember from my lessons back in the palace that the first time always hurts… After all while father wanted me to remain his innocent girl forever he had to get one instructor to teach me about why I was having that time of the month and what to expect on my wedding night when I’d one day marry the future king...  
   
“That’s true, all the more reason I’m going to feel guilty.” Jae-ha shook his head, looking like he was still doubting continuing. “You’re already in enough pain, and all I want to do right now is fill you full of blissful pleasure.” He kissed my shoulder as he smiled. Oh god my heart can’t take his thoughtfulness…  
   
“ _But I want to…_ ” I flushed again, looking away and trying to find the words as my heart continued to hammer away. How embarrassing, here I am throwing myself at the man I love and I’m not even married much less even courting him… Well, it’s not like I really consider myself a princess much anymore, and I’ve found out Jae-ha loves me no matter what the dragon’s blood says. So for tonight… I just want us to be Jae-ha and Yona, a flirty playboy pirate and the girl that’s hopelessly in love with him… Just like two regular people expressing their love, forget status and standings. Thinking of it that way, I was finally able to put my feelings and desires into words as I turned my head back to look right into his beautiful violet eyes. “… I want you, Jae-ha. I love you and I want to become one with you…”  
   
Something seemed to crack in Jae-ha’s eyes as they widened in surprise at what I said, then a strange glint was there as he chuckled and shook his head. “You really are determined to break down every single resolve I’ve built up, aren’t you? Well I’ve never been one to follow rules I suppose…” His hands were at my hips as he gave my thighs a squeeze. “But your safety is still a priority so I’m going to try this as carefully as possible.” I smiled as he was still being thoughtful but admitted he wanted this as much as I did. Slowly, he lifted me up a bit and his… D-dragon tail poked at between my legs where his fingers had been just before. I felt warm as our bodies rubbed against each other, and that weird pressure was coming back again.  
   
“Ooohhhh Jae-ha….” I mewled from the feeling, but I wanted more... “ _P-please…_ ” My hips bucked unconsciously again, hoping he wouldn’t keep me waiting much longer.  
   
Jae-ha slowly lowered me back into his lap, and I felt that _… T-thing…_ Slip inside of me ever so slowly. It felt like my muscles were clinging against it as he entered, it felt almost like I was a sock being put on that was too tight as my insides were pulsing and squeezing on his… T-tail. I tensed a bit as it felt weird, almost like I was being stretched and I felt a few pricks of pain, and a strange burning sensation. The feeling came to a halt when he seemed to stop, my guess would be that was because he hit my barrier, as it felt like he couldn’t go any further… Oh god here comes the part that’s going to hurt… I shut my eyes and tried to prepare for it.  
   
I guess he felt me tense up as he was kissing at my throat again, one of his hands had moved to rub my breast again and his other hand was caressing my stomach, which actually soothed the knot forming there. “I love you, Yona darling.” He hummed into my ear, and my heart imploded from hearing that again.  
    
“ _Jae-ha…_ ” I found it difficult to breathe again but my shoulders relaxed a bit, I looked at him almost begging for him to continue. I couldn’t find any other words as his touches were just making me relax and feel so safe and warm in his arms. Seriously is this what it’s like to find heaven?  
   
Jae-ha smiled at me as he kissed my lips again, his hands went back to holding my hips. I felt his body shift and his dragon tail pushed all the way in, obviously breaking my virgin barrier in one shot as I felt a sharp pain go through my body. I shuddered but tried to hold it in, I didn’t want him to feel guilty for causing me this brief moment of pain in exchange for expressing my love for him. I could get through this and I was determined to do it as I shut my eyes and tried my best to hold it in as I grit my teeth and balled my hands into fists, but ouch did it hurt. He didn’t move at all as I must have groaned while still kissing him and I hadn’t even realized I was crying until I felt his fingers at my eyes, brushing the moisture away.  
  
“Are you alright Yona dear?” Jae-ha asked after breaking the kiss. Yeah he noticed, darn it I need to do better!  
   
_“I’m fine…”_ I whimpered, slowly opening my eyes and flushed when I saw his look of disapproval of my lie.  
   
He narrowed his eyes at me, though smiling as he gave me a reminder. “I told you to tell me if there’s _ANY_ discomfort, Yona-chan.”    
   
**_Oh come on_ you knew this part was going to hurt! ** I glared a bit at him for pressing the issue. “… It hurts a little but really I’m ok…” I grumbled. Wait didn’t he say something before about...? “ _…. Don’t stop.”_ I said timidly, remembering that he did say something about saying that if I wanted to.  
   
Jae-ha smiled as he kissed me once more, then slowly started moving his hips while guiding my body with his hands that groped my thighs. He seemed to be almost bouncing me on his lap and his… _Tail_. “ _Yona…_ ” he moaned out as I whispered his name when our lips parted, his warm breath mixing with mine as we were both panting for air. I felt a warm, full like feeling now that the pain had subsided as he moved inside me… Oh god and I thought his fingers felt good, this is just amazing…  
   
He continued to bounce me in his lap and my hands really had nowhere to go, I tried resting them on my legs but they were moving so much it was kind of hard to set them there. That was when I saw green under my legs and let my hand descend down there, my fingers slowly touching his dragon leg. I really wanted to touch it earlier but held back, worried how he would react, but right now I wasn’t exactly thinking straight with my brain going to mush from all these good feelings. But I liked touching his leg actually, the scales felt warm on my fingertips and nice… I liked how they felt. I was so curious after all I had felt Kija’s hand before and the scales had felt nice there too, Jae-ha’s scales on his leg felt just as good. Maybe it was part of how I feel so drawn to the Dragon Warriors? Touching the dragon scales almost felt like it tickled my senses, not sure why but this time it felt more intense. Maybe because I was currently making love with the one I was touching? Or was it because this was Jae-ha, the one I was madly in love with?  
   
Of course, Jae-ha called me out on it as he kissed behind my ear. “Getting curious, Yona my love?”  
   
I blushed as I looked at him, surprised to see he had a blush of his own, though his cheeks weren’t blazing anywhere near as bad as mine must have been.  “… Well you’ve been touching me all over tonight, I want to touch you back. Besides I wanted to know what it felt like…” I admitted, moaning deeply as the way he moved hit a spot inside me that set my skin on fire.  
   
He smirked at that one. “Not only are you the first to call that monster leg beautiful, but the first to touch it so tenderly… _Ahhhh_ Yona dear you just keep making me fall more and more in love with you…”  
   
My heart fluttered again from his words but it made me smile that I could do this for him. Maybe I could get him to show me his leg more often because of this. My fingers still danced on his leg as I tried to rest against him while he still moved inside me. But that itch and pressure wasn’t going away or getting close to releasing like before… If I recall his fingers were moving faster inside me by this point and that seemed to get me to… _E-explode faster_. I looked at him for a moment, wondering what I could say or do to get him to try and go faster but… Oh god he’s going to laugh at me! I looked away recalling he did say to tell him if I need him to move faster… _Oh what do I do?_ That pressure kept getting worse as I weighed this in my mind, my hand still caressing his leg. “ _J-Jae-ha…._ ” I began as I turned to look at him again, but lost my nerve immediately.  
   
“What is it love?” he purred, that smug smirk on his face again that he had each time I looked at him... He really couldn’t help but tease me, could he? He kissed my cheek again, and I swear he ended up going slower! Oh no did he misread me and think that he was going to fast?  
   
I groaned and pursed my lips, shutting my eyes in frustration.   _“… Too slow…”_  
   
“Oh? Well I am trying to mind that injury of yours, Yona darling.” Jae-ha chuckled, squeezing my hips again as his lips were at my neck now, planting several kisses. “Do you want me to move faster…? All you have to do is say the word.” I knew it, he’s going to tease me…  
   
“ **Please!** ” I shouted without thinking.  
   
He kissed up to my ear, I swear it was almost on fire at this rate. _“Please what…?”_  
   
I swear to god I am going to kill him if he keeps up being this smug over this! He is enjoying this _WAY_ too much and I don’t know what to do! It’s my first time after all! “ ** _FASTER!_** ” I shouted.  
   
Jae-ha chuckled and before I could snap, he suddenly started moving twice as fast as before. “All you had to do is ask my dear.” He purred at my ear, and I would have smacked him if it wasn’t for the fact it felt so good when his dragon tail got so deep inside me and what he asked me next. “Yona love, do you want me to cum inside you? Do you want me to fill you up with all my love?” I felt a warm pulse from his… _Thing inside me…_ As he asked this.  
   
Oh god do you have to ask? My brain was long gone by this point from how good it felt and I just screamed a loud “ ** _YES!_** ” right as I felt my second climax hit me hard. Spasms wracked through my body as my muscles clenched onto his dragon tail as if not wanting to let go, and I felt that itch finally fully release. I felt something flow into me as Jae-ha grabbed my head and kissed me deeply to silence my screams of ecstasy from my orgasm. It felt like my breath was sucked out of my lungs and my whole body went weak as I bathed in my afterglow. I had to pull out of that kiss for some much-needed air and we just stared at each other lovingly. There was this warm feeling of the fact that something special had passed between us tonight, with confessing our feelings and expressing our love through our physical contact. At the same time I had this strange sensation that something truly amazing had transpired between us, must had been because this was the first time I’d ever done this and it was with someone I loved with all my heart… I felt so happy right now.  
   
Jae-ha smiled and stroked my cheek, his eyes so full of admiration and love that made my heart soar. “You did wonderfully, Yona dear.” He purred, kissing my other cheek. “I love you.”  
   
I was still panting as I smiled at him. “I love you too Jae-ha… And that was just…” Wonderful? Beautiful? Life changing? I seriously can’t figure out a word that best describes it. “It was amazing.” I settled on, and my cheeks heated up as I felt his dragon tail twitching a bit inside me… Oh god don’t tell me it wants more… My body just might start agreeing with it.  
   
But Jae-ha must have realized we couldn’t just keep on doing this as he lifted me up again to pull his tail out of me, and I felt some of that stuff that… R-released inside me spill out onto his legs. I saw the small puddle as I looked down while he turned me to sit sideways on his legs so I could lean my head on his shoulder and he caressed my back tenderly. “If it wasn’t for your injury and the fact those guys are on their way I’d make love to you all night long…” he purred, kissing my cheek. “But this is more than enough for now.”  
   
_Oh god please don’t tempt me…_ I blushed as I cuddled against him. “If it’s always like this, I look forward to more.”  
   
“Oh I’m sure we can make it even better next time, because I won’t have to hold back at all once your back heals.” Jae-ha purred as he caressed my cheek and then kissed my forehead. “I hope you’re ready to deal with this insatiable pervert’s hunger, Yona darling.”  
   
I blushed terribly at that. Well I already knew he was a pervert and I was worried I wouldn’t be able to keep up with him but… “I’m willing to give it a try, and I’ll do my best to learn from you so I can keep up with you.”  
   
I actually saw Jae-ha blush at that, he chuckled and shook his head. “I’ve never had a partner say that to me before, you just keep on surprising me Yona my love…” he kissed my lips once again. He sighed as he pulled away, groaning slightly. _Un-oh, something is wrong…_ “… We better get dressed, I can feel Kija and Shin-ah getting closer.” **_Oh my god I totally forgot about the others coming!_** “Guess it does help having a built-in radar detector so we don’t get caught.” Jae-ha chuckled, tapping his temple. “Though I’d love to see their reactions to seeing you with me like this, I know very well Hak would chop my head off and their reactions would embarrass you far too much.” He smirked, kissing my cheek. “So I’ll leave that up to you when or if you wish to tell them about us.”  
   
I smiled at that, though blushed once more but I was happy that he was ok with allowing me to decide if I wanted to tell the others… Which did not sound like a good idea right now, after all Hak would take it terribly and swear Jae-ha forced himself on me or something… It would end badly. “… Let’s just keep it between us for now, at least until I’m better and we’ve dealt with things here first. I’ll figure out a way to explain it to them, though they’re all going to think we’re crazy.” I giggled slightly. “But I’m willing to deal with that when the time comes, as long as you stay by my side...” I took his hand into mine, holding it against my heart. _“… Always.”_  
   
Jae-ha smiled at that, leaning in to press his forehead against mine again. “I couldn’t leave your side if I wanted to, Yona darling… and I don’t want to. _Ever_. I can’t feel at ease unless I have you by my side, so you’re stuck with me.” He grinned, dipping in to kiss me once more as I was too stunned to reply to him as my heart had stopped once more… Oh by the gods did I love this man too much for my own good.  
   
I knew from then on things were going to be different, and I was no longer the little girl that had left the palace months ago, instead I was taking my steps into becoming a woman, a path I’d walk together with my Ryokuryuu that I loved with all my heart. I would never regret the decisions I made that lead me to this path, because it brought me to Jae-ha. I never would have met him had I been inside the castle walls or stayed hiding in the Wind Tribe like Hak had wanted, so I’d never would have known a love like this. _Father, if you’re watching from heaven…_ I think I’m going to be ok from here on out, because I’m not alone anymore… And I found someone to stay by my side.

**Author's Note:**

> This one took me a loooong time to write, I was really struggling with Yona's point of view and how she would describe things, I hope I kept her IC enough and that you all enjoy this AU of an AU ^^ I've been wanting to slightly revision 'What Do You Think of Me?' and this allowed me to do that. I actually had this done for a little while but I need to proof read it and make some edits, but my mom passed away two weeks ago and I just couldn't look at any of my writing during that time.


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